Is Your Relationship Successful?

By: Paul Anderson

How do you measure the success of your relationship? Does its
success depend on what other people think of you as a couple or
on how the two of you get along when no one else is around?
Let's face it, few of us have the perfect relationship - in
fact, does anyone even know what it means to have the perfect
relationship? I guess before that question can be answered we
have to begin by defining what a perfect relationship would be
and there really isn't a single answer to that. For instance, if
you happen to be a sports fan you would probably appreciate a
partner that either enjoys sports or is at least tolerant of
your obsession/hobby. The same is true of any other past times.
I spend a lot of time on the computer so my partner has to
accept that. Those types of things are sometimes obvious but
what aren't quite so obvious are things like meeting someone
that we really like that has different moral standards than we
do. I'm not talking about falling in love with a serial killer
or anything drastic like that - what I'm referring to are what
some might think of as little things, like not telling a store
clerk when they give us too much change or even cheating on a
test of some sort. Believe it or not, even those things that
seem small in the beginning can add up over time. Eventually
they can seem very important and take on a life of their own.
It's likely that the first few incidences will be overlooked but
as they happen time and again you will begin to question your
partner's character in other areas. This may or may not be fair
to your partner because it is likely that these are his/her only
faults, and let's face it, none of us are perfect. Some people
measure the success of their relationship by the financial
status the couple achieves. In other words, their basic goal is
to have a nice home, car, clothes, other material possessions,
and enough money to take vacations, etc. While most of us enjoy
those things they hardly insure a quality relationship. This may
sound strange at first thought, but... when we do anything
important in life we begin with a plan. If we are starting a new
career we plan it out. If we are moving we start with a plan.
But when we begin a relationship it seems that we lose sight of
the importance of planning. We simply jump in and fly by the
seat of our pants into oblivion, hoping that everything will
turn out just the way we want it to. A simple plan for the type
of relationship we want would help set us up for success. If we
know what we want we can work toward getting it. Plans start
with goals and then all that is needed are the steps that will
get us to those goals. It's a simple formula, but it does work.

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